Best of RAH96:
Odd Parity - 12/96
Miscellaneous insanity from both the online and "real" worlds.
"If you like laws and sausages, you should never watch either one
being made." - Otto Von Bismarck
"It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me, but it can
keep him from lynching me, and I think that's pretty important."
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
"Someone has tabulated that we have 35 million laws on the books
to enforce the ten commandments." - Bert Masterson
"Lawyers are...operators of the toll bridge across which anyone
in search of justice must pass." - Jane Bryant Quinn
"My daddy is a movie actor, and sometimes he plays the good guy,
and sometimes he plays the lawyer." - Malcolm Ford, on what his
father (Harrison Ford) does for a living.
"A peasant between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats."
- Spanish proverb
"When God wanted to chastise mankind, He invented lawyers."
- Russian proverb.
"Client, n. A person who has made the customary choice between the
two methods of being legally robbed." - Ambrose Bierce
"I get paid for seeing that my clients have every break the law
allows. I have knowingly defended a number of guilty men. But the
guilty never escape unscathed. My fees are sufficient punishment
for anyone." - F. Lee Bailey
"Fools and obstinate men make lawyers rich." - Henry George Bohn
"Judge: A law student who marks his own examination papers."
- H. L. Mencken
"The halls of justice. That's the only place you see the justice,
is in the halls." - Lenny Bruce
"A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the
better lawyer." - Robert Frost
"We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the
world; and its efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of
finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't
read." - Mark Twain
"I'm not an ambulance chaser. I'm usually there before the
ambulance." - Melvin Belli
"Can any of you seriously say the Bill of Rights could get through
Congress today? It wouldn't even get out of committee." - F. Lee Bailey
"Doctors and lawyers must go to school for years and years, often with
little sleep and with great sacrifice to their first wives." - Roy Blount, Jr.
"The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little
longer." - Henry Kissinger
"A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless paid for." - English proverb.
"Doctors purge the body, preachers the conscience, lawyers the purse."
- German proverb.
How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?